I think there is an epidemic going around. It's called "Idon'tfeelwanteditis". It springs up in the likely and unlikely places. I'm not going to lie. I sometimes feel it. It's crazy because I am surrounded by loving family and friends and yet I still feel it sometimes. It's that nagging thought of "do I really matter" and "am I really important to someone?" What is crazy is that I have a very stable family and amazing friends and yet I feel this. Now I'm not saying I have a perfect life, but I have so much to be grateful for. It is no wonder that other people who do not have a supported family or good friends feel unwanted or unloved at times.
Now I know there are MANY MANY MANY people who feel this way, and I'll barely scratch the surface with the groups I mention.
I see this quite a bit in the work that I do. I have so many of my kids who live with relatives other than their biological parents due to drug use, divorce, imprisonment. These kids are left wondering, "Am I really wanted where I am? Does someone really care about me? Am I worth spending time with? Am I valuable? Did I do something wrong?" Even in the best of circumstances (great grandparents, friends, adoptive/foster parents or relatives who stepped up), these kids often still feel unwanted. It breaks my heart. Each time I meet one of these kids, I want to spend the time myself directly investing in their lives so that I can help show them how important and valuable they are.
And then there are people who are homeless or who are living in poverty. Now I fully admit that sometimes I let prejudices get the best of me. I am sometimes tempted to look the other way because I don't want to be asked for something or to feel uncomfortable or guilty for what I have myself. But aren't these people, regardless of their situation or the reason behind where they are now, my brothers and sisters in Christ? They were created and are loved by God just like I am. God does not love me or look more favorably on me because I have a job, wear nice clothes, or have food on my table. Why would I not look on these people with the same love as I do a good friend? Don't they deserve the same respect and love as anyone else? How can I show them that they are valued and wanted?
And finally I'll speak to something I'm very familiar with. So I'm 29, almost 30. I'm not married, not dating, and have no expectations of this happening anytime soon. A good majority of my friends are married and on their first or second child. I know I'm not the only one in this boat. I also recognize that a lot of my friends got married pretty young. But when you are in this situation, surrounded by friends who are married, it's very easy to feel unwanted-unloved at times. Now it's not that I don't feel loved by friends and family, but I feel like I'm missing out because I'm not loved by a husband. I know that I should feel completely loved because God loves me, but sometimes I just don't. Is that bad to say? I'm just being real honest. Now a lot of the time, I'm totally ok with this. I try to be patient. I ask God to guard my heart and to help me to trust Him. But its just so hard sometimes. Just like the kids I mentioned above, it's easy to think that I've done something wrong. And I look around at some of my other single friends and think SURELY I'm not the only one who feels this way, right? I want to trust God's timing and goodness, but it's just hard sometimes.
So what do I do with all of this? Well I probably have more questions than I do answers. I don't really know how to make myself not feel unwanted at times. That's going to have to be God speaking to me or through other people I think. But I do know how I can contribute to helping others feel wanted and feeling God's love. I can work at my job with my full heart and do my very best in everything that I do. When I am doing my part in my job, hopefully more and more children will truely feel loved and cared about and will start to see their self-worth. With a homeless person or really anyone who I'm tempted to judge and treat with less love, I will ask God to give me the grace to look past any prejudices and to love them like they deserve to be loved-even if that means just giving a genuine smile or eye contact. And with other singles, well I'm not really sure. I need God to help me know how I can encourage others and be a good friend to them. I don't want to sugarcoat and just say what they want to hear, "someday your Prince will come when you least expect it," haha how many times have I heard that? But I do want to be a person who encourages and helps them feel valued and loved.
I do believe that it breaks God's heart when we don't feel the value and love that He feels for us. God help me to truely feel loved and valued because of your love and to be an instrument to help others feel the same.
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