Solitary is a sad word to me-MOST of the time. Solitary is an adjective that means existing, living, or going without others; alone without companions Someone living a solitary life TYPICALLY, from my experience does not CHOOSE to live a solitary life. They are living this life due to circumstances that are often not within their control. Now I do think that a certain amount of solitude is good and even healthy. And a good game of old school Solitaire never hurt anybody! When we are by ourselves, we can learn to truely love ourselves and to enjoy silence and a slower pace. Often times when we are alone, we may be more likely to hear God's voice or prompting or to feel his prescence in our life. Depending on our personality, some people rejuvenate and are refreshed from times of solitude. For this reason, I think solitude can be a good thing.
But overall and in most circumstances, I believe that we were created to live in community. We were created to crave time and attention and love from others and to be refreshed by fellowship. A strong community can get through anything together. When we have been in the company of people who truely love us, we should walk away refreshed and encouraged as should the others who are part of that community.
I have to admit that each time I have moved to a new place I've thought, "I don't really need to make deep friendships here. I already have wonderful friends. I can get by and be happy enough by just keeping and maintaining those friendships and having some acquaintances in my new place." And for a while, that works. But then comes the realization that even though I still have those great friendships from the other places that I have lived-our friendship is now different and not what it used to be. It by no means is less important, but it's different. We can't pop on over to each other's house for a movie night or meet for dinner. To talk and catch up, it may be weeks or even months until we talk next. And that may be after playing phone tag for a while.
Sometimes when I've moved to the new places, I think I've been a bit hesitant to really invest deeply in new friendships because each time I've moved, I've had no sure idea how long I'd be in each new place. I'm tired of leaving people and in a way don't want to set myself up to be sad again if I feel like God has other plans for me. But really, this is no way to live. This sets myself up for a solitary life-one without true community. Now this move is a little different because I moved to be close to family. I absolutely adore and love spending time with them. I think since I've had this, I haven't been as quick to seek out other friendships. But I think that I'm supposed to, so here I go. I'm trying to be open to the friendships that God may have for me here-both friendships that will be mutually benefitting and those that may be a little more one-sided. I want to live and make the most of where I am right now. I don't want to miss out on something God may have for me. So here's to finding true community!
I think there is an epidemic going around. It's called "Idon'tfeelwanteditis". It springs up in the likely and unlikely places. I'm not going to lie. I sometimes feel it. It's crazy because I am surrounded by loving family and friends and yet I still feel it sometimes. It's that nagging thought of "do I really matter" and "am I really important to someone?" What is crazy is that I have a very stable family and amazing friends and yet I feel this. Now I'm not saying I have a perfect life, but I have so much to be grateful for. It is no wonder that other people who do not have a supported family or good friends feel unwanted or unloved at times.
Now I know there are MANY MANY MANY people who feel this way, and I'll barely scratch the surface with the groups I mention.
I see this quite a bit in the work that I do. I have so many of my kids who live with relatives other than their biological parents due to drug use, divorce, imprisonment. These kids are left wondering, "Am I really wanted where I am? Does someone really care about me? Am I worth spending time with? Am I valuable? Did I do something wrong?" Even in the best of circumstances (great grandparents, friends, adoptive/foster parents or relatives who stepped up), these kids often still feel unwanted. It breaks my heart. Each time I meet one of these kids, I want to spend the time myself directly investing in their lives so that I can help show them how important and valuable they are.
And then there are people who are homeless or who are living in poverty. Now I fully admit that sometimes I let prejudices get the best of me. I am sometimes tempted to look the other way because I don't want to be asked for something or to feel uncomfortable or guilty for what I have myself. But aren't these people, regardless of their situation or the reason behind where they are now, my brothers and sisters in Christ? They were created and are loved by God just like I am. God does not love me or look more favorably on me because I have a job, wear nice clothes, or have food on my table. Why would I not look on these people with the same love as I do a good friend? Don't they deserve the same respect and love as anyone else? How can I show them that they are valued and wanted?
And finally I'll speak to something I'm very familiar with. So I'm 29, almost 30. I'm not married, not dating, and have no expectations of this happening anytime soon. A good majority of my friends are married and on their first or second child. I know I'm not the only one in this boat. I also recognize that a lot of my friends got married pretty young. But when you are in this situation, surrounded by friends who are married, it's very easy to feel unwanted-unloved at times. Now it's not that I don't feel loved by friends and family, but I feel like I'm missing out because I'm not loved by a husband. I know that I should feel completely loved because God loves me, but sometimes I just don't. Is that bad to say? I'm just being real honest. Now a lot of the time, I'm totally ok with this. I try to be patient. I ask God to guard my heart and to help me to trust Him. But its just so hard sometimes. Just like the kids I mentioned above, it's easy to think that I've done something wrong. And I look around at some of my other single friends and think SURELY I'm not the only one who feels this way, right? I want to trust God's timing and goodness, but it's just hard sometimes.
So what do I do with all of this? Well I probably have more questions than I do answers. I don't really know how to make myself not feel unwanted at times. That's going to have to be God speaking to me or through other people I think. But I do know how I can contribute to helping others feel wanted and feeling God's love. I can work at my job with my full heart and do my very best in everything that I do. When I am doing my part in my job, hopefully more and more children will truely feel loved and cared about and will start to see their self-worth. With a homeless person or really anyone who I'm tempted to judge and treat with less love, I will ask God to give me the grace to look past any prejudices and to love them like they deserve to be loved-even if that means just giving a genuine smile or eye contact. And with other singles, well I'm not really sure. I need God to help me know how I can encourage others and be a good friend to them. I don't want to sugarcoat and just say what they want to hear, "someday your Prince will come when you least expect it," haha how many times have I heard that? But I do want to be a person who encourages and helps them feel valued and loved.
I do believe that it breaks God's heart when we don't feel the value and love that He feels for us. God help me to truely feel loved and valued because of your love and to be an instrument to help others feel the same.
So I've always loved cooking/baking, etc. but I've realized lately how much I really love it. So I created a Facebook Community group called "Recipe Round Up"-haha don't ask me how I got the name-I was trying to think of one and that came to mind, and I couldn't really think of another one, so I was like, "Ehh, that'll do." It's just a place for people to share recipes and sounds silly, but I'm excited about it. I know it's nothing revolutionary-there are probably thousands if not more blogs and sites that do the exact same thing.
And I've mentioned this before, but I think cooking/baking/sharing recipes, as simple as those things are, can create community and bonds with people that you may not have had otherwise. It's a fun way to connect with old friends and new friends. And it's just plain fun for me because I think it'll keep me trying out new recipes and it's fun to connect other people to good recipes and to teach younger girls how to cook/bake. I got to do that quite a bit at Trevecca, and I really loved that.
I think when you look at my love for cooking/baking/recipes it all actually comes down to the fact that I LOVE entertaining. I love hosting things. I love creating a space where people can relax, enjoy themselves, and make memories. Way back several years ago, I took a spiritual gifts test and it said one of mine was "hospitality". I think that's pretty right on. SO-I want to use that gift to glorify God. And although it sounds a little funny, I think I can do that through this whole thing-I'm connecting with people already that I don't know well or haven't connected with in years, so who knows what opportunities God will open up through this. Sometimes I think, you just need a common denominator to begin a connection with someone that God can use for his glory-maybe he'll choose to use this. I'm ready God, and in the meantime I'll be on the look out for yummy recipes!
*The apron above is from www. happyhourmoms.com
These are two yummy recipes that I've discovered lately and thought I'd share! I love that you can find recipes online so easily and also love that you can find substitutes for ingredients that you may have run out of or don't have in the house: eggs, brown sugar, etc.
Enchilada Casserole
Compliments of the back of a cheese package (haha seriously) & some changes/additions by me
Ingredients:
1 lb ground beef (could use chicken or ground turkey)
1 package of taco seasoning
2 cans of rotel (go for the mild version if you don't like hot)
1 can drained corn
1/2 container of salsa (approx 13 ounces)
8 oz light sour cream (could use no fat)
3/4 bag of shredded colby jack cheese (could use low fat)
1 package of white corn tortillas cut into pieces
Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Spray 9 x 13 casserole dish with non-stick cooking spray.
Cook meat till browned-drain.
Mix the next 6 ingredients together in a mixing bowl.
Add meat and mix all together.
Layer corn tortilla pieces and mixture in a 9 x 13 sprayed pan. Top with cheese.
Cook covered on 350 for about 30-45 minutes or until everything is hot!
I also added some Taco Bell hot sauce to it afterward-how ghetto am I, but it was really good!
You could also prob make them vegetarian by taking out the meat, and adding black beans, spinach, and some other veggies!
You can also make in two 9 x 9 pans and freeze one and cook the other. Make sure to dethaw the frozen before you try to cook it-that'll save you a lot of cooking time. You can put it in the fridge the night before you are going to bake it.
Chocolate Breada Paula Deen recipe
Ingredients:
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups sugar
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups milk
1 cup vegetable oil
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups semisweet chocolate morsels
1 1/2 cups chopped pecans (I didn't use these)
Directions:
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Spray (2) 9 by 5-inch loaf pans with non-stick cooking spray.
In a large bowl combine the flour, sugar, cocoa, baking powder, and salt. Beat in the milk, oil, eggs, and vanilla at medium-low speed with an electric mixer until combined. Beat in the chocolate morsels and pecans. Spoon the batter evenly into the prepared pans. Bake until a wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean, about 1 hour to 1 hour and 15 minutes. Let cool in the pans for 10 minutes. Remove the bread from the pans and cool completely on a wire rack.
*Make sure to only fill pans 1/2 to 3/4 full-if you don't, it will likely overflow AND becomes very hard to cook evenly and all the way through.
So on the plane ride home from the AMAZING and RELAXING and REFRESHING weekend, I was thinking randomly of how much I love certain things. So this post will be a tribute to some inventions/products that I have tested and approved and would like to kiss the inventor of. These are in no particular order:
1. Bobby pins. Yeah random I know, but if you are a girl, you will understand. Bobby pins are a girls best friend. They are small, fit in your pocket, but have strength to hold up just about any up-do you could think possible AND are gentle on your hair. Oh yes, and they are very cheap. Dear Bobby Pinsworth-much appreciated. Glad your wife needed to hold that stray hair back.
2. Nalgene bottles. Nalgene bottles are the reason I love water today and the reason I drink so much water. Aside from this fact, the indestructibility (I'm sure that's not a word) of them is AMAZING. AMAZING. So the Nalgene company says that if your Nalgene breaks, they will replace it, for free, no questions asked. Well, I took it upon myself to see how strong they are. RIGHT after purchasing one, I jammed the Nalgene right up under my back tire (of a Jeep) and proceeded to back over the Nalgene. AND it didn't break. A few scratches from the gravel, but no breakage. AMAZING. Mr. Nalgene maker-you are a genious. Thank you Nalg Nunc. International. See, the 90s DID contribute some useful things to society!
3. Glitter. Glitter just makes everything better. Ok, maybe not everything, but a lot of things. Kids projects, nail polish, lotion, shoes, ugly Christmas sweaters, make-up, etc. etc. etc. Not feeling so hot about your art project, throw some glitter on it! TOMS the shoemaker has recently made me happy and a bit envious of their sweet new GLITTERY TOMS.
4. Discount clothing/home goods stores such as Ross, Burlington Coat Factory, TJ Maxx, etc. WHO doesn't love a good deal? WHY pay $50 for something, when you can get it for $5? It's the thrill of the good find/deal that keeps me going at these stores. YES, they have lots of random things, YES, it takes some patience, but YES, you are often rewarded with a great AND cheap find!
5. Frozen yogurt places. SO good. SO good. What a brilliant idea to have self-serve frozen yogurt in a variety of delicious flavors PLUS topping bars. This is completely besides the point, but these businesses are making a killing because they charge by the weight & people are ridiculous in how much they load up in their bowls-PLUS the ingredients are so straightforward and simple.
6. Coupon books-especially the Entertainment Books-do people not realize how much they save with these? You buy one for about $25 and if you use 3-4 coupons, you've already made your money back! You seriously pay usually about HALF of what you would've normally paid at most places. . .why would you not use a coupon?
7. E-Readers. I am by no means someone who cares to have the newests and coolest electronic, but E-Readers are so cool. I love mine and have read so much more since I got one that I have for a long time. It's light, easy to bring with you, and books are very affordable.
8. Skype-I got to talk to my best friend who I haven't seen in OVER a year tonight on Skype. It was SO good and so nice to feel like we were in the same room just having a conversation. We even vowed to start Skyping monthly which I'm so excited about because although we love each other dearly, we just haven't made regular time to keep up with each other's lifes and what a cool way to do it. I got to talk with her, see her baby girl, and talk with her husband, one of my best guy friends. WHY have I never thought before to Skype with my sweet college friends that I miss so much? Thank you Niklas Zennstrom and Janus Friis. You've connected friends and family in a very cool way!
9. Cookbooks. I absolutely love cooking and baking and love even looking at new recipes. Cookbooks whether hard copy, recipe cards, or online-I just love. I love old family recipes. I love my Mom's recipes. I love trying out new things and finding new favorites. I love the community that comes with sharing recipes. I know that may sound ridiculous to some, but for those who love cooking, it's a huge compliment when someone asks you for your recipe because they loved something you made. If I could make a living out of trying out new recipes and cooking for people, I'd be a pretty happy woman. I love the creativity that comes with cooking/baking and love making something that people will enjoy.
AND for my last tribute, although if I thought longer, I'm sure I could think of many more. . .
10. Cream cheese. Yes, random I know, but if you like to cook/bake, you will understand. Cream cheese makes every recipe better. It makes delicious homemade frosting, dips, oreo truffles, spreads, creamy soups, cucumber sandwiches, etc. If I were to list my top 10 favorite recipes, probably 8 out of 10 would have cream cheese as an ingredient. So, thank you Cream Cheese inventor William Lawrence, your accident has been making tastebuds happy since 1872.
Solitary is a sad word to me-MOST of the time. Solitary is an adjective that means existing, living, or going without others; alone without companions Someone living a solitary life TYPICALLY, from my experience does not CHOOSE to live a solitary life. They are living this life due to circumstances that are often not within their control. Now I do think that a certain amount of solitude is good and even healthy. And a good game of old school Solitaire never hurt anybody! When we are by ourselves, we can learn to truely love ourselves and to enjoy silence and a slower pace. Often times when we are alone, we may be more likely to hear God's voice or prompting or to feel his prescence in our life. Depending on our personality, some people rejuvenate and are refreshed from times of solitude. For this reason, I think solitude can be a good thing.
