A Taste of Singleness

Ok, let me preface this entry with what most little girls grow up doing and thinking. From a very young age, we start playing with Barbies and dolls and start pretending that we're dating Ken and going to a pool party or making dinner at our little play kitchen for our family and feeding our sweet non-crying baby. We make up names for our baby dolls and play house. We play MASH on the backrow of church and figure out who we are going to marry, what car we'll have, how many kids we'll have, and what kinds of pets we'll have. As we get a little older, we start watching movies and listening to music and all the messages we see and hear are that people aren't really happy until they have met Mr./Mrs. Right. Everywhere you look, there are messages that you aren't complete unless you are dating or married. For many of us, our parents got married at a fairly young age (mine at I think 22 or 23) and had kids before their mid-30s. Little girls who become teenage ladies who become young woman learn what's "normal" by both said and unsaid messages. "Oh, you aren't dating? Why not? Well why don't you try one of those online thingies, or wait, better yet, I've got the PERFECT guy for you!" It becomes people's mission to set you up with someone because they are convinced that you are missing out and can't be happy without that. Add to this that so many many many women struggle with self-esteem and we've got a pretty big mess on our hands people.

Here's my perspective on it all. God created us to be in relationship. Now I don't necessarily mean ROMANTIC relationship-for most people, I do think that God intends them to eventually be married and have that romantic relationship, but not all people. So, God created us to be in relationship and fellowship with others. He also, I believe, created us with a longing for completeness. I believe that He intended for us to find that completeness by having Him in our lives. Many of us though try to replace that longing with a romantic relationship which may well work for a while. But here's the thing; people make mistakes; people fail; people's love is not perfect. When we fill this void with human love, we end up falling short-maybe not right away, but eventually. I believe that only when we fill this void and am complete because of the Lord in our life, will we ever be able to fully appreciate and experience that love that He intended between a husband and wife. We won't be looking for that person to complete us. We will just share our life together and complement rather than complete each other.

Now, so I've come to believe this, and most of the time, I really am content and happy to be where I am in life, but then sometimes I look around and think "SURELY, those people aren't "complete in Christ" yet they found each other and are getting better and beginning life together. What's going on here God?" And this is when God reminds me that He never has let me down. He always has my best interest at heart. There have been many many many times when I thought that I had a great plan worked out for myself and God had other much better things in mind for me.

God knows the desires of my heart, and I believe has placed them there. If I am to be married someday, God's going to take care of that and all the details that will need to work together for that to happen. I don't need to put my life on hold while I wait for this. God has put me exactly where I am, with the passions and desires that I have right now, and has given me opportunities RIGHT now to use those and fulfill those-maybe in different ways than I had originally thought but in ways that will bring glory to his Name. So that's where I am. I believe that God uses each experience and time in our lives to prepare us for what He has for us next. I want to be completely where I am and taking advantage of the opportunities that God has for me here and the ways He wants me to minister to and love people.

Getting married someday? Being a Mom? Being a wife? Sure those are desires of mine. But being in the center of God's will and loving people and showing them His love. . .even more of a desire and something that I don't have to wait for opportunities to do because opportunities present themselves everyday-I just have to be sensitive to what God's telling me and follow his prompting.